by Harper West | Aug 23, 2021 | Self-Compassion, Shame
I was working with a patient on how to stop ruminating when he said something that was very insightful and perfectly described the process of how to be more compassionate to yourself. Like many people, Ashok (not his real name) ruminated about his past mistakes...
by Harper West | Aug 22, 2021 | Shame, Trauma
Some people are so well practiced at feeling guilty that they feel guilty when they don’t feel guilty. What do I mean by this riddle? Let’s consider a scenario of a young woman, Charlotte (fictionalized account) who has been estranged from her grandfather for years....
by Harper West | Aug 22, 2021 | Parenting, Shame
Aliesha, 9, had reluctantly followed her parents from the waiting room into my office and slumped into a chair. Her parents immediately launched into a description of her latest behaviors and their concerns about how this would cause her to flunk a grade and be held...
by Harper West | Aug 20, 2021 | Parenting, Shame
Would you believe that I can spot low self-worth and poor shame tolerance even in a child as young as three? It’s true. Sometimes it is obvious. I have worked with three- and four-year old children who say things like: “I’m no good,” and “I’m a bad kid.” These...
by Harper West | Aug 28, 2019 | Other-Blamer, Shame, The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump
Ask just about anyone about Trump’s psychology, and they conclude that, like all bullies, he is a very insecure person. As many have noted: “You don’t need a fancy diploma to figure out what is wrong with Trump.” I would agree — even though I do have a degree in...
by Harper West | Feb 19, 2019 | Parenting, Shame
Not to brag — because I had nothing to do with it — but in elementary school I was considered smart enough that I skipped second grade. (This must have been based largely on my precocious ability to read, because my math skills have always been incredibly...
