by Harper West | Sep 6, 2016 | Conflict Avoidance, Relationships
I recently saw a male client who was upset about his wife’s possible affair. She had been staying out drinking on weeknights until 1 am, leaving him with the kids. For years she had also been under-functioning in the home, so that he had to do most of the childcare...
by Harper West | Apr 3, 2016 | Emotions, Relationships
Fear isn’t just about physical danger. Emotional fear can look a lot like anger. But relationships do not thrive in anger or fear. People who behave with fear, generate fear in others. People who behave with love, generate love in others. Think about your...
by Harper West | Jul 20, 2015 | Relationships
I had a patient describe her husband as someone who bites his tongue for days about an issue, then becomes angry at her out of the blue. I said: “Oh, he is afraid of conflict,” and she looked at me quizzically. “But he gets angry and we fight. He seems to like...
by Harper West | Apr 22, 2015 | Accountability, Relationships
It is a truism in psychotherapy that those who actually should be attending therapy are the ones who rarely find their way into treatment. In “Pack Leader Psychology” I categorized personalities into three types: Dominators, Submissives and Avoiders. Dominators are...
by Harper West | Feb 15, 2015 | Relationships
I was conducting a therapy session for relationship problems with a married couple, their second, and the wife continually escalated to anger when any topic came up. Even when the husband kindly suggested they put their toddlers to bed before 10 pm so the couple could...
by Harper West | Dec 25, 2014 | Relationships
On this Christmas Day, I believe the best gift parents can give their children is the ability to manage shame. Teaching a child to experience and respond well to the feeling of shame is a life lesson that will affect every relationship and social involvement for your...