America is now a post-moral society. This is what I’m going to start calling the era we’re in. That’s because 75 million people clearly believe that immorality is just fine. They support lying (lots of lying!), greed, bullying, venality, sexual assault, bigotry, self-dealing, and corruption. In fact, this amorality is so dandy, they’ve elected the exemplar of the seven deadly sins to the highest office in the land.

Unfortunately, the remainder of us who were raised to be moral and ethical are left feeling betrayed by the immoral half of the country. Didn’t we all grow up learning that bad behavior is wrong? Don’t we all think the U.S. Constitution and its laws should be obeyed? Don’t we all think that caring for our fellow humans is the decent thing to do?

Apparently, the immoral half of the country was just faking it all along. Once they got the green light from the Republican Party, Trump and right-wing media that selfish, hateful narcissism was just fine, they quickly tore off the mask they’d been wearing. They no longer had to hide their craven interior and this election is the result. In fact, I think we have an epidemic of narcissist and selfish, amoral behavior because it is being modeled, permitted and encouraged by Trump/Musk and all their lackeys

This exact same behavior happens in interpersonal relationships all the time. A narcissist or sociopath can be charming and charismatic on the surface or for a short time — a duplicitous masking of their amoral character. But once the relationship is solidified in some way (moving in together, getting married, or having a child) the true nature of the narcissistic abuser is revealed. The other partner is often shocked at the new reality. Suddenly, the narcissist’s true colors show up, with behaviors such as entitlement, lying, addictions, affairs, laziness, and verbal or physical abuse. Their partner is suddenly behaving in ways that they didn’t bargain for.

As I described in “The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump” we now have an entire country that is roleplaying an abusive relationship. Half the country has taken off the mask and revealed their lying, selfish, greedy, conniving personalities, and the other half did not reckon with this personality change.

When I work with abused spouses, the feeling of surprise and betrayal is often the first thing we need to work through. The honeymoon period, when the abuser was behaving well, is the hook that keeps abused partners in the relationship. They keep expecting the abuser to go back to their past decent behavior. They often have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that someone could act this way.

But narcissists rarely return to good behavior for long, because the good behavior was only a front that allowed them to reel in a victim.

Extricating the US from an Abusive Relationship with Trump

So how do we, as a country, extricate ourselves from this abusive relationship with the Republican Party and Musk/Trump? Clearly, the “flying monkeys” of right wing media and Russian trolls need to be stopped, but that is a very difficult situation to address legally, given our First Amendment and the wild west of social media. As long as these enablers are doing the work of the narcissistic Trump/MAGA team, then there will be no easy solution.

I think we saw some of the correct responses come out of the Democratic candidates of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. We need to call MAGA followers for what they are: wrong, immoral and even “weird.” Rather than get into the weeds of discussing “the economy” or facts about immigration, we need to just say directly and calmly something that expresses the moral aspect: “I think caring for others is right and harming others is wrong.” “I believe that we should all pay our fair share of taxes because that is right and moral.” “That is a lie and I was raised to know that lying is wrong.”

We are severely hampered in what we can do to break the cult-like thinking of Trumpers. Now that they have voted for him three times and have imbibed the Kool-Aid, they are unlikely to ever disavow him. As I have written previously, their poor shame tolerance will not allow them to admit to their mistake. We now have a country being ruled by a shameless human — literally someone who cannot feel shame — and who is supported by 75 million shameless voters.

Although those of us offended by the immoral and destructive behaviors of Trump & Co. can do little but protest and write blogs (!), we can know that we can be proud of our decency, which is at the core of being human.

You may also like…

Accountability: It’s the Root of Moral Behaviors and Trump Doesn’t Have Any

Trump Destroys America, Just as All Abusers Destroy Relationships

Shame: The Emotion that Drives Trump’s Behaviors and Causes Tyrants, Narcissists and Sociopaths