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How to Spot a Narcissist Early in a Relationship

by Harper West | Feb 5, 2023 | Narcissist, Other-Blamer

Many people ask me how to spot a narcissist or what I call an “Other-Blamer” early on in relationships. Watching for the following “verbal tells” is one way to do it.  We often think of lack of accountability as the inability to admit fault and apologize. However, we...

How to Set Emotional Boundaries With a Narcissist

by Harper West | Dec 26, 2021 | Empathy, Narcissist, Other-Blamer

Many people are aware of the need to set boundaries with others, especially with those who have narcissistic or Other-Blamer traits. Often the focus is on setting limitations on behaviors and words, such as telling your spouse that they cannot swear at you or they...

How to Talk to a Narcissist and Take Back Your Power

by Harper West | Jun 23, 2019 | Narcissist, Other-Blamer

How to Talk to a Narcissist (Other-blamers) The first rule with Other-blamers is: Don’t talk to them if you don’t have to. Disconnect from the relationship physically if possible. If you must deal with a narcissist…Don’t start a conversation with a narcissist without...

The Spider and the Blame-Shifter or: How to Spot a Narcissist

by Harper West | Jun 22, 2019 | Other-Blamer

I was recently reminded of an incident involving a spider that provides instructive wisdom on how to spot a narcissist, or what I call an Other-blamer. (Names are changed to protect the guilty parties.) A number of years ago a friend, Patty, called to ask if her...

Trump Destroys America, Just as All Abusers Destroy Relationships

by Harper West | Aug 22, 2018 | The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump

With the guilty plea and conviction of two of Donald Trump’s closest staffers and friends, we are watching what for many of us is the predictable denouement of Trump’s presidency. Those of us with expertise in abusive and narcissistic relationship patterns have known...
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