Narcissists and sociopaths — or what I call Other-Blamers– cause tremendous damage to relationships of all kinds. And don’t be fooled by those diagnostic labels. There are narcissists by the millions in society today. Nearly every case I work with includes some sort of narcissistic abuse, whether from a parent, sibling, partner, boss or friend.
This article is one of the best descriptions of narcissistic abuse and those who aid the narcissist — called the “harem” and “flying monkeys.”
The key attribute to watch out for with Other-Blamers, which this article does not mention, is: “How do they manage criticism?” When held to account for their behavior, do they tend to shirk responsibility, blame-shift to others, make excuses and rationalizations, freeze you out, etc, etc? I have a full list of these behaviors elsewhere on my website.
The problem with this type of person is that they never learned to handle shame in a healthy, balanced, accountable manner. So they are in emotional pain when they perceive embarrassment coming their way and react often with emotional abuse toward others.
The only solution (other than intense therapy for the narcissist!) is to remove yourself completely from the relationship.
…be kind to yourself